It is Easter Sunday 2009, and The Lost Boys just got out of brunch at a spot in Echo Park on Sunset that served delicious food and was swarming with attractive women. After eating food and drinking mimosas, we set course to Chinatown (C-Town)...
Trevor and I went deep the rabbit hole that is the markets of C-Town. We found a store that sold sunglasses on its outer shop tables and ventured inside to see that the two gentlemen running the store were selling other things as well...Weapons, just shy of a table display of Mack 10's.
We stood and watched with gawking faces as they demonstrated two different pieces of electronics. One was a thing that would electrocute a human and send them to the ground, non-fatal. The next was a stungun that would "take down grizzly bear"according to the dealer, and absolutely kill a human. The demonstration made me back away a few steps as it was loud and largely intimidating. I asked him to put them away so i could talk guns. He put the things away and I said, "what can you give me for $5?"
He turns and grabs a stack of 4 guns to choose from and a cardboard box full of throwing stars (3 for $1). I pick out a gun and buy it, he puts it in a bag. Trevor and I walk away. I quickly say, "follow my lead" as I turn around and go back into the store.
"Now, show me what i can do for $20"
Again. 4 guns to choose from and we walk out with a Glock 4. We leave and Trevor smokes a cig as I rush to an ATM. I take out $40 as the man told me that he would hook up a nice discount next time I came in, surely talking about a few weeks down the road and not the same day. We make it back to the store, "alright, no more messing around...I want a nice gun. A heavy gun. show me what you can do for me for $40."
The man pulls out three things:
1) A shotgun like the one from Terminator 2
2) An mp5a5 automatic machinegun
3) A full sized hunting shotgun
"Whoa guys, this is all way too much gun.", I say as I hold a shotgun in each hand like I'm Scarface. "I need something I can keep on me; in my belt, on my body. I need to be able to conceal the weapon. This much is important." (verbatim what was said)
The guy boxes up the big guns and put them away.
"What are you looking for?", He asks.
I take one breath, "I know exactly what I want, obviously. I want the weapon of an agent. Give me a pp7."
"James Bond gun?"
I say, "Yes, 007."
At this point the business juncture happening in this scummy toy store has turned quite serious and all words are spoken and chosen very carefully.
He pulls out a silver Walther PP7 with a wooden handle, places it on the counter and loads it. He then proceeds to tell me to shoot it. At this point, I am standing in on of the most bizaar, comical situations I may have ever been in.
I aim at a target in the corner and unload the clip (the gun is green gas, semi auto, 20 rounds or so) on the target. No. I did not take a single shot, I took 20 in the matter of <5 seconds in front of the man at the counter. There was smoke coming from the barrel. I place the, now empty, weapon on the counter and said "This is the gun. I would like one."
He brings out a brand new one in a box.
I now barter the price and furthermore told him to trade me the $5 gun I purchased 12 minutes prior to this; my third gun. He says "Sorry, no do that."
I quickly turn and sell it to the closest kid standing next to me....$5 CASH IN HAND. Kid leaves the store. The man then takes 20 or so dollars off the marked price of the weapon and tells me it's mine for $39. I give him $40, tell him to throw in a can of gas and he does. I thank the gentleman and walk into the craziness of the market with my gun in hand.
(the story above is, obviously, not about buying a real gun)
