Friday, April 30, 2010

Heavy Weight



The weight carried for the both of us has buckled my knees. I wish I was able to explain openly, clinicly, what is on my mind and where my wip-lashes are coming from. I can't. Why should I have to? There are not listening ears out there. You know my every background reasons for sadness and lack of motivation. So now, I just turn into the problem; when I was (seconds ago, minutes ago, days ago, last week or month...) the solution to everything. I collapse. I break down only to appear to be back up. It probably isn't as clear in the open as it is in my own head. I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, and answer impossible questions. I am out of time, money, solutions, and patience. Why is that so hard to see? I hope that the positive things I have done come back to me ten fold because if this is just a game to see how long I can last, what is the point of playing? Back to packing, cleaning, tearing up, and tearing down.. I just wish that I could cry non-stop, because only when its painfully clear does anyone know that I have a battlefield in my own mind.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Birthday 2010 iii

Finishing up last said box, I came across my second present (I think?). A tee shirt hidden beneath my freshly washed clothes. A gym tee shirt from Springwood High (the school that the victims of Freddy Krueger attend) at 3:30am. I almost shat.

Birthday 2010 ii



"I lie asleep in my bed and the loud sound of clear tape tearing from your room wakes me like a nightmare. I try to go back to bed, the whole time hearing you pack corrugated boxes while listening to music. The rhythms help coax me to sleep, but something about the packed boxes does not."

Birthday 2010



I stand outside on the morning of my birthday after spending incredible time at the Aver house. The bike ride home sent me to the Big Fish bar and proceeded to turn into talk about my prior 86 from the bar last Friday with the bar owner, JP. Talks were incredible. I informed the owner and Billy Dilly of my own 86, in that "I am moving to Chicago in three days.". This was another come and go from the bar and JP understood that he would indefinitely see me again in the future. We went on to talk about the NHL post season (JP is a Canadian, and therefore the Big Fish is a hockey bar), the two nights leading up to our 86'ing last week, and just overall happiness. JP is a fine bartender and does what a tender does best : converse. I leave the bar after drinking my house whiskey shot (the first birthday present of this, my 26th birthday), and now i write this. Only to go out and breath the smokey air and drink the polluted water (yes, take what you will from that sentence).

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Crunching Numbers, Typing Diaries


I hate when trying to get a hold of people is difficult. A world where cell phones and house phones and work phones and pay phones give one person 4 numbers they can be reached at, but never reached. A world where I communicate through a diary on the internet, where anyone can read it but I know no one actually does. I guess sometimes mouth to ear needs an electrical intermediate just like thoughts to words need a computer in this case. Or maybe the people I just need to get a hold of are in a meeting or something?

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Ever Climbing

I have been walking up one of the most impossibly steep hills I have ever had to conquer in my life this month of March 2010. Not just that but also in a place where I am new and people don't know me as well as they think they might. They trust, I trust. I climb and slip, they slip with me. Why? Why would someone want to slip just to slip? It is today that I have finally gotten to the top of the hill, finally being able to look at the other side of what I have been climbing. Once on top of the hill I want to scream out to all that I think care and share how my life may be able to remain stable. I scream out a jolt of joy and get tears in return. I want to remain stable, I don't want to deal with the negatives just because I can choose to. I am over being sad, dark, confused, and lost. I just want to be solid and never do the emotional tug o war of going from tip top of the mountain on down to the tip of the iceberg, drowning at the lowest point I can find. I want to continue to grow and create and stop having to tie myself up to pole and be paralyzed creatively and in the end, totally. Why did an earthquake have to happen once I thought I finally reached the top getting ready to continue to the next (hopefully not as steep and tall as the last) hill that life has me climb. And instead of being able to have a good brainstorm I got rained on and out. This is something that I refuse to let bring me back to the bottom today. I have worked too hard to get to where I am today, and I don't think you understand the feat that I am about to be done with. How could you? This is the first time you have ever seen me fight. I only wish that this earth was filled with more people who are understanding and full of love. The most emo post on R&Bblog up to this point and I know, I know:

"Cool story, bro."

Fanta, Fanta, Fanta

...don't you want a?!

Monday, March 22, 2010

The Panda

It is fucking delicious. If you don't agree with me get over yourself and shut it. Noodles, Orange Chicken, and Kung ... PAO!

Friday, March 19, 2010

All Pro



When i first visited San Francisco, i saw an awful lot of skateboarders there. My immediate first thoughts for every one of them were, "wow, a pro skateboarder. i havent seen a lot of pro skateboarders in real life before." So this was an awesome thought to think, except for the people skateboarding were not in fact professionals. Just normal people. Which makes me very happy to know that the memories of playing so much THPS on playstation as a kid are still so on the front of my mind that real life as a 25 year old still feels like im 16. What an awesome thought to think.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Random Pear Shaped Update

Pear Shaped Freckler:
1) Still Frecklin'©
2) Still Walkin'©
3) Still Mailin'©
photocred: Joe Lobato, TOLA

Live and Love



My phone automatically mis-spells the word "love" and replaces it with "live" on a regular basis. Thinking that a blackberry is considered a 'smartphone', this is rather ironic. It wasn't until yesterday afternoon that i realized that I am more concerned with love than i am to live. And this, is quite fine with me.

2009 Waterford Custom Track



Custom Waterford Track Frame
matte black w rainbow flake blasted and sealed
Dura Ace 7710 Crankset
Phil Wood Bottom Bracket - 110mm
Dura Ace Black Chain Ring - 50t
Dura Ace 7410 Headseat
Toshi Double - black/All City Plastic Cage - black/White Industries Urban Platform Pedal - black
Izumi Super Toughness Chain
Dura Ace 7600 laced to Mavic CR Rim via DTSwiss 15g Straight Steel Spokes, 3x lace front / 4x rear
RiBMO Front
Randoneur Rear
EAI Superstar 17t / Dura Ace 16t Flipflop
Nitto Jag Silver Seat Post
Selle San Marco Rolls Saddle - white
Nitto Pearl 8 Stem
Nitto Noodle Dropbars - 420mm
Cinelli Gel Black Wrap
Crane Copper Bike Bell
Pedobear Lurk Sticker (above headset, drive side)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Pear Shaped Feeding Grounds

For those out there wondering where the proper place to indulge in food that might make your body a bit more pear shaped, TOLA's Joe Lobato has taken it to the next level and risked his livlihood to go into the "homefield" of the infamous Pear Shaped Freckler getting a better idea of what diet possibly makes a body do what his does.
"All that I could tell is the Freckler went regular size on white. He doubled the meat, then topped it with a mountain of tomatoes. After that he had them douse the tower with regular Italian topping sauce. He didn't make his way out of the location (Quizno's) without 3 sides of hot sauce.",
Joe included this statement in the email with the picture attached.
All I have to say is, HOT DAMN FRECKLER YOU DON'T MESS AROUND. Thanks again to Joe and www.takeoverla.blogspot.com for the picture and story.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

HB

I ate lunch with Megan and her aunt Jackie today in Huntington Beach, Orange County, California. Riddled with white people and large trucks avoiding monster truck rallying over bros on beach cruisers, I felt completely out of place. Huntington Beach is everything that is wrong with people in America. There I said it.

...someone had to.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Humpty Dumpty

If humpty dumpty was an ostrich egg, his fall would be equal to a small massacre of chickens. This is because one ostrich egg is equal to twenty four chicken eggs.
If the egg came before the chicken and an ostrich egg came rolling along, it would crush the chicken egg and we wouldn't even know what chickens are today.
Comparatively, the ratio of egg to animal is reasonably similar.
If birds were pornstars and the egg white and yolk were their ejaculate, an ostrich would be Austin Powers and a chicken would be Steve Zissou.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Pear Shaped Freckler



Joe Lobato was able to not only get a visual of the infamous pear shaped freckler* of Miracle Mile DTLA today, but he snapped a photo for proof.
(*NOTE: All pictures posted are b&w on the R&Cblog. Hair is freckler red. Please email for color picture proof)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

updated beater



the bianchi, late fall 2009.

How to disappear completely



In a little while I'll be gone. The moment's already passed.
Yeah it's gone, and I'm not here.

This isn't happening.

I'm not here.

Facebook. Kicked the bukket.


Last night I went through with the words marked as either sad, bullshit, missed, or bipolar. No matter the reason, a choice was made to delete my account to the internet superhighway known as Facebook. Have you heard of this site? I am sure that you might have. Anyway, I figured anyone who cared would know of the RnCblog. If you made your way here because you are curious as to where I went off to, you will find out that I simply am unable to balance the time on the site and I walked away gladly. There is no drama with leaving the website and mark my words here,
"if we are living in a world where suspending my facebook account effects my relationship with friends in a negative light, I will just as soon excommunicate completely."
Afterall, I would rather live in a cabin and be thought to be dead than to actually pull the trigger.

snowball



My life feels like a snowball today. Not the kind of snowball that builds with strength as it carries itself downhill, but the kind that has already built up all of the size it can. And now it is disintegrating. It is falling apart. It is losing its shape, mold, and look. I am this snowball today, yesterday, and tomorrow.

mistakes



I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I feel as though I can't make anymore at this point without terrible consequences.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Jay Stay Paid


I recently had a friend tell me I didn't listen to hip hop anymore. Since then, i've made a conscious effort to listen and look out for it. With that being said, I heard Jay Stay Paid and thoroughly enjoyed it.

"Curtailing any notion of jumping on some sort of Dilla bangwagon, Jay Stay Paid was executive produced by Dilla’s mother Maureen Yancey (aka Ma Dukes) along with the musical supervision of Dilla’s only real musical idol, Pete Rock. “It wasn’t rushed and it wasn’t haphazard,” explains Ms Yancey. “This album combines what he did in the beginning of his career, what he did in some of our early hospital stays, which was very deep, and some stuff pulled from old floppy disks & DATs. Its mind blowing…this is like the missing links to Dilla’s legacy.”

The format of the album plays like a radio show with Pete Rock as the program director. With regards to Pete’s involvement, Ms. Yancey gets very excited, “Dilla wanted to pattern himself behind Pete. His dream was to become as close as possible to what Pete stood for. Pete meant everything to him. Dilla would have just been flabbergasted! ” Pete’s sentiments were the same toward Dilla, “Dude was amazing. He just kinda came outta nowhere and the more you heard his beats the better they got. He may not be here with us, but it’s all good we’re going to keep his music alive and well.”

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

MMM...OFFF Titles

OFFF 2009 Main Titles from Prologue! from OFFF on Vimeo.


Imma try to go next year. Gotta make that happen.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Friday, May 8, 2009

Conceptual Purpose

Are you familiar with the term "panty dropper"?2008 Bianchi Pista Concept
40mm Stemrise
Suzue Promax x Velocity Deep V
Continental Gatorskin front
Vittoria Rubino back
Sugino Messenger Crank x BB
EAI 16t Cog
MKS Sylvan x Toshi Double Straps x All City Dual Gate Clips
Ritchey WCS 4-axis Stem
Deda Pista 32mm Drop Bars
Deda Crono Nero Horns
Ritchey WCS 4-axis Rizer Bars
Ritchey WCS 4-axis Seatpost
San Marco Rolls Saddle Ti Rails

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Just a Kiss.


Why do you hurt me?

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Macaframa

Finally. The crew that persuaded me get into track bikes right out of the gate rather than freespinning has finally made their first and only full length bike film available to the public. After months of music rights conversations since the American premier dates, MACAFRAMA is out.

Dust your wallet off, $40 hollar for dvd x book.

All good when you break it down. By riders, for riders to the core and a book that is sure to be DIY heaven with names like Hufnagle and Cadence attached.

San Fran gets the frontseat as Bay Area riders Colin Arlen and Colby Elrick shot/rode/produced this innovation in track bike filming. Great cinematography coupled with an equally just soundtrack make the fourty dollars incredibly easy to spend; that is if you even have to bitch about two 20 dollar bills after you hop off your custom frame / njs build or otherwise madly built human powered machine.

Just cop it, and shut it.
Macaframa 2 Discs

Hudson Mohawke - Polyfolk Dance EP


This guy can make a beat, and not give much of a care to a measure. Straight out of Scotland (Europe's Compton), this dude puts out the jams on Warp. The album art is wicked and the hand/letters work great; not to mention the 'o's are nipples. That much is free. Here is a dope video of him and his boyz in the studio running down a track and his/their gear... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTKd3CnenC8 ... Scotland on lock...again.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Pia Fraus - Mooie Island EP

Heard this tonight for the first time. Also found this neat cover of the track Mooie Island:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSyAZx8Jgog

I've come to love this guy's covers
. Double win.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Weapons Dealing on Easter


It is Easter Sunday 2009, and The Lost Boys just got out of brunch at a spot in Echo Park on Sunset that served delicious food and was swarming with attractive women. After eating food and drinking mimosas, we set course to Chinatown (C-Town)...
Trevor and I went deep the rabbit hole that is the markets of C-Town. We found a store that sold sunglasses on its outer shop tables and ventured inside to see that the two gentlemen running the store were selling other things as well...Weapons, just shy of a table display of Mack 10's.
We stood and watched with gawking faces as they demonstrated two different pieces of electronics. One was a thing that would electrocute a human and send them to the ground, non-fatal. The next was a stungun that would "take down grizzly bear"according to the dealer, and absolutely kill a human. The demonstration made me back away a few steps as it was loud and largely intimidating. I asked him to put them away so i could talk guns. He put the things away and I said, "what can you give me for $5?"
He turns and grabs a stack of 4 guns to choose from and a cardboard box full of throwing stars (3 for $1). I pick out a gun and buy it, he puts it in a bag. Trevor and I walk away. I quickly say, "follow my lead" as I turn around and go back into the store.
"Now, show me what i can do for $20"
Again. 4 guns to choose from and we walk out with a Glock 4. We leave and Trevor smokes a cig as I rush to an ATM. I take out $40 as the man told me that he would hook up a nice discount next time I came in, surely talking about a few weeks down the road and not the same day. We make it back to the store, "alright, no more messing around...I want a nice gun. A heavy gun. show me what you can do for me for $40."
The man pulls out three things:
1) A shotgun like the one from Terminator 2
2) An mp5a5 automatic machinegun
3) A full sized hunting shotgun
"Whoa guys, this is all way too much gun.", I say as I hold a shotgun in each hand like I'm Scarface. "I need something I can keep on me; in my belt, on my body. I need to be able to conceal the weapon. This much is important." (verbatim what was said)
The guy boxes up the big guns and put them away.
"What are you looking for?", He asks.
I take one breath, "I know exactly what I want, obviously. I want the weapon of an agent. Give me a pp7."
"James Bond gun?"
I say, "Yes, 007."
At this point the business juncture happening in this scummy toy store has turned quite serious and all words are spoken and chosen very carefully.
He pulls out a silver Walther PP7 with a wooden handle, places it on the counter and loads it. He then proceeds to tell me to shoot it. At this point, I am standing in on of the most bizaar, comical situations I may have ever been in.
I aim at a target in the corner and unload the clip (the gun is green gas, semi auto, 20 rounds or so) on the target. No. I did not take a single shot, I took 20 in the matter of <5 seconds in front of the man at the counter. There was smoke coming from the barrel. I place the, now empty, weapon on the counter and said "This is the gun. I would like one."
He brings out a brand new one in a box.
I now barter the price and furthermore told him to trade me the $5 gun I purchased 12 minutes prior to this; my third gun. He says "Sorry, no do that."
I quickly turn and sell it to the closest kid standing next to me....$5 CASH IN HAND. Kid leaves the store. The man then takes 20 or so dollars off the marked price of the weapon and tells me it's mine for $39. I give him $40, tell him to throw in a can of gas and he does. I thank the gentleman and walk into the craziness of the market with my gun in hand.
(the story above is, obviously, not about buying a real gun)

Komeda "Nonsense"


I don't like your company, so sick of you
Don't wanna be your friend no more, leave me alone
How could I be so stupid to have faith in you?
You're the one to blame for all that has gone wrong

I'm going, gone and I'm finally out
But I'm not feeling lonely
I'm going, gone and I'm finally out
And I am feeling so fine

How could I be so stupid to have faith in you?
You're the one to blame for all that has gone wrong
I should have know that all you said was a big lie
I'd rather do nothing than spend time with you

I'm going, gone and I'm finally out
But I'm not feeling lonely
I'm going, gone and I'm finally out
But I'm not feeling lonely
I'm going, gone and I'm finally out
But I'm not feeling lonely
I'm going, gone and I'm finally out
And I am feeling so fine

I don't like your company, so sick of you
Don't wanna be your friend no more, leave me alone

Jon, Kyle, Vin on Halloween


not sure why the colors went all inverted like that. but they did. lil photoshop action.

Soap on a Bar


One of my co-workers, a black guy, just came in and threw me 'bones' (this is when you put a fist out to butt fists with a friend). The inertia of him walking to me then stopping made the wind of his body continue to my nose and i am 99% sure he uses Lever 2000 bar soap. thats how intense it was. The color of his skin has nothing to do with the story...but makes the imagery a bit easier to grasp.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

People Scrutiny


...we had a very detached conversation about "heres and theres" during the meal and at one point Will told me that he isn't getting very many comments on a new pair of Nike 90's he got. I said that I have been getting plenty about mine in which he replied, "Well. I don't hang out with people who care about Nike's." in which to furthur trump me rather than continue a normal conversation. This brings me to two thoughts... 'Why would you rank your friends on if they liked Nike shoes or not?' & 'Well then why in the fuck do you care about your lack of comments?' Will has been confused a lot lately (in my eyes) and acting a bit elitist about his new friends; not hanging out with or contacting any of his friends from college. I, personally, do not choose my friends on what they like or dislike about my clothing. What I wear is what I wear for personal expression of myself and I like how that looks. When a stranger says "Nice shoes" or when a friend says "Nice shoes" it is the same comment and I am just happy to have them. 2009 must be the year of digesting the wasteful things in my life, because that course has been ran very effeciently thus far. Good Bye Will.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Bruges .. Shoes?


Hey all...Sitting here in the hotel in Bruges, Belgium and all I have to say for myself (other than Belgian beer being no less than 8%) is that this place has way way too many shoes. It is clear that the shops here are catering to the active tourist, as every other window is strewn with brand after brand and shoe after shoe. It took me about 1/4 of a block before I was completely desensitized from all of the foot shopping here. The brands weren't all that great (the picture above was actually from a store in Amsterdam, a store that I glady spent my time in), the styles didn't wander far (at all) from 'euro', and the prices were nothing to pull the wallet out about. This city is one of the helping factors of making my life a more appreciated and simple thing upon my return. I do not need to leave a place with a pair of sneakers to ensure that I have proper memories of being there. I do not need to exit a city with a certain amount of money spent (wasted?) on clothes to offer me the memory of being there. Rather, all I would choose to hold is the favorite picture I took in my hand proving that the trip acutally happened because while on foot in Europe there is so much more to life than shopping at a store with a (more than capable) website.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Amsterdam by Bike


Walking around Amsterdam has made me miss my bike a lot. This city has more bikes than I have ever seen in a city barnone. All of the bikes are outfitted to ride in the amount of rain this city gets. Short post, I just wish that I had a chance to let my bike visit Amsterdam as well. At the end of the day, it's just great being here regardless. Hey guys!!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Underground


Landed in London early this afternoon at an airport that is miles north of the city. Transit by rail made the progression of grassy fields, sheep farms, and quaint english homes into the factorys and multi-complex housing seem like a timelapse; very very cool. As I mentioned in an earlier post, Berlin had a dope public transit system .. then I arrived in London. The famous London Underground rail system is the most thought out and easy to use line I can even imagine. Other than the fact that this city is SO DAMNED HUGE, once you figure out where you need to go it is effortless. This brings me to needing to give a BIG UP to Rodney!!! If it wasn't for this UK local who literally took me under his wing while he was on his way into London (with his equally as friendly wife) and walked me through what line I were needing to take, standing in line for at least 20 minutes to get my ticket and before all of this guiding me to the right people to ask whether or not we needed a visa to travel to Amsterdam. Thanks again Rodney, hope you are reading this. Anyway, its time to head back into the city for I only have a mere 20 hours to enjoy what will most likely be one of the premier places I visit on the next European vacation...

Friday, February 13, 2009

Back in America



Yesterday was the last day of classes at the Berlin University and instead of going out alone in the city I crashed two day classes. They were both English speaking and entailed a lot of discussion about media, music, film, etc. relating America to International popularity and the root of all of this. In the first class they are focusing on the series 'The Wire' and we watched a full episode on a projection screen. In the middle of the viewing I had the strangest feeling where I forgot that I was even IN Germany and was watching a popular American TV show. Weird things, but damn it felt great to be back in the classroom setting. Thinking is really really nice, I took notes.